Recently, I met with a group of people including a person who hurt my feelings. I am sure their actions came from a good place, but it made a deep impact on my heart. As is often easy to do, I nurtured that hurt by rehearsing the event and my thoughts repeatedly. Unintentionally, I was adding to the break in our relationship.

During the same time, I was practicing daily meditation, some guided and some in quiet stillness. Many of my meditations focused on self-compassion and compassion toward others (including people I struggle with). It only takes a moment to see the inconsistency in my thoughts and actions.

When I entered the meeting, all of my negative feelings started to surface. my body was physically reacting to the emotions I felt. I thought, “this is going to be a long event.” I prayed, asking God to give me grace.

It was only a moment before I began to see the dissonance between what I was asking for and what I was willing to give. I wanted to receive the grace of God, knowing I am not perfect, but I was struggling to offer grace to someone who surely needed it. I could feel the conflict, and I acknowledged it. When I looked at this person again, I could feel God using the Spirit and my practice to release a wave of compassion for the person I held resentment for only moments ago. I was almost in tears resulting from the heartfelt love I was experiencing.

Compassion is a gift. Without it, we navigate life with countless wounds that spill over into other’s lives. As the saying goes, “hurting people hurt people.” Without the gift of compassion, we take the harm we receive and we multiply it, but with it, we break the chain of hate and pain. With the gift of compassion we can offer ourselves compassion when we need it, and we can draw from it when we need to feel it for others. Finding that compassion can even overflow to others in our sphere of influence.

All of this should be second nature to those of us who call ourselves by the name of Christ. As those who are the recipients of divine compassion, we should draw from that abundance. Sadly, this is often not the case. Sometimes, we fail. We may need more stillness to receive, or we may need more practice, but the pervasiveness of the lack of compassion within the church is telling. It’s telling us we need to take time to make corrections, and it’s telling the world that our faith isn’t real, that we are not transformed.

When we are concerned about rules more than we are about people, there is a problem. Yes, rules matter, but obeying rules is not what abundant life is about. We never find Jesus attacking people who were struggling. in fact, his only harsh words were for religious leaders who were trying to protect their power. Instead of causing more pain, the Scripture says, “He had compassion on them.”

When the world around us knows us for our judgement and not our compassion, we have lost touch with what our faith is truly about. Recently, I heard people try to shift the blame away from themselves, toward those who are hurting. That is painful, and the result of an immature faith. We receive love from God so that we can love others with the love we received.

I needed the reminder in my meeting. Maybe you need one too. Could it be that we need to remain teachable, open to challenge and correction? Could it be that offering compassion not only blesses others, but blesses us in the process? Virtues grow with practice. We can use our meditation and stillness to practice offering ourselves compassion. We can use our prayer time to receive compassion from God. We can use both to bless others with compassion. That way, when we are in the midst of meetings and plans, we will be prepared to demonstrate compassion and rejoice in its blessing.