“I have to…”

In the last post, we reflected on the importance of recharging. Today, we begin considering some of the major culprits consuming our energy, and one of the leaders is a false sense of obligation. Undoubtedly, there are commitments we must keep and obligations that require our attention, but frequently, we assign ourselves mandatory responsibilities that do not have the urgency we assign them, nor are they necessarily our tasks to complete.

Just think of all of the assignments we give ourselves:

I must make the house showroom ready before company comes over.

I must attend every meeting.

I must participate in every family activity.

I must battle for every important cause.

I must do a perfect job.

I must. I must. I must.

Julie Bick, in her book, All I Really Need to Know in Business I Learned at Microsoft, tells about a major faux pas in her division. Everyone expected the supervisor to be angry, putting their jobs at risk. The supervisor responded to the problem with a quote I remind myself of frequently, “No small children will die.” She was not happy with the division’s results, but her previous experience in child welfare taught her some mistakes lead to tragic loss, while others are actually mere inconveniences.

At the end of Luke 10, Jesus is visiting the home of Mary and Martha. Mary sits with Jesus, while Martha is busy with everything she believes she must do. The tasks Martha embraces are overwhelming her and she asks that Jesus demand Mary help her. As compassionate people, who know what it is like to take on a myriad of projects, we might expect Jesus to tell Mary she should help, but that is not his response. Instead, the Bible continues the story with these words, “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.”

It is easy to balk at Jesus’ words, jumping to defend Martha, and ourselves in the process. Yet, Jesus is making a powerful point. We worry about, and assign ourselves, many things, but few of them are truly needed. We perceive great need, but Jesus says our perceptions are incorrect.

It is hard to relax and recharge when we feel overwhelmed by our To Do list. As we begin to realize that many of those action items are unnecessary, we open up space to rest, and become better equipped to address what must actually be accomplished. The more perspective we gain, the more peace we discover.

There will always be things that need our attention, but with some holy perspective, we can cease worrying about many things and focus on what truly matters. What a great first step to recharge our bodies, minds, and spirits.