I lift up my eyes to the hills – from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. – Psalm 121:1-2 NRSV

Yesterday morning, our internet went out. It seems a tree fell somewhere and took the line down with it. While the temporary loss was no tragedy, it did cause some significant impact on my plans for the day, including posting to the Cafe. Each new project I attempted revealed a greater reliance upon my technological connection. It was a glaring absence from my daily life, and a mild epiphany regarding my level of dependence. Cut off from my internet connection, I felt profoundly cut off from my life.

It is amazing how easily we become dependent upon the conveniences in our lives. Take one away, and we begin to feel like we cannot function. It is this reliance that fuels our willingness to pay for access, and our constant connection to our smartphones and devices. The technology is woven into our lives, making us feel empty without it.

In my newfound, unplugged time, I found myself reflecting upon my technological dependence, and questioning the depth of my dependence upon God. I, or maybe it was the Holy Spirit, began asking if I was as aware of my dependence upon God, and if I would so readily recognize any disconnection. I talk about my need for God, but do I really affirm that need with my thoughts and actions? Do I feel as separated and confounded if I miss my time in study, prayer, and meditation? I wasn’t sure I liked my answers.

We depend upon many things to make our lives more convenient and effective, but we depend upon God for life itself. God is not removed from creation, standing back and watching it unfold. Rather, God is intimate, enmeshed in the details of every life, giving meaning to our experiences and joys, while redeeming our hurts and pains. We need God just as we need air to breathe. Our dependence upon God never changes, but our awareness of that dependence does. The deeper issue is our awareness.

Truthfully, I lived without the internet and other technology for many years, and I still can. There are also millions of people who live without it every day. Dependence upon technology is more of an illusion than we realize. Life without dependence upon God is also an illusion.

In Psalm 121, the psalmist knew where his true dependence rested. It was in God, and God alone. That is why we also declare, “From where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord.”

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There are so many different ways to read the words of that question. It can be spoken in the tone of a parent asking a precious child what would bless them, or with the drone of a bored cashier who would rather not be bothered. It is the terse expression of an annoyed coworker, or the heartfelt request of someone who really cares. At its best, it is a searching question aimed at revealing motive and desire.

In the Gospel of Luke, we find the story of Jesus interacting with a blind beggar just outside of Jericho. The man is seeking a touch from the Lord as he passes by, yet Jesus asks the man, “What do you want me to do for you?”

At first glance, we might think to ourselves, “Come on, Jesus, don’t you know what he wants? Can’t you see that he can’t see? Isn’t his need obvious? Why would you ask such a question?” The man, however, responds directly to the question, “I want to see!” and with this declaration, Jesus heals him.

Why would Jesus ask such an obvious question to someone with such a recognizable need? If others knew his need, wouldn’t the Son of God be able to perceive it as well? Maybe, there is a deeper meaning to be found in Jesus’ request. Maybe, Jesus had a bigger purpose in mind.

I once heard Joseph Garlington, a pastor from Pittsburgh say, “When God asks you a question, he isn’t looking for information.” God is not lacking understanding or information, but we might be. We might not have a clear image of what we are seeking, but God does. And that is why we need a clarifying question.

Jesus was not oblivious to the beggar’s need, but he wanted him to identify it. He invited him to become a part of the miracle by clarifying his desire. The man paused, even if only for a moment, to consider his need and to ask specifically for Jesus to meet it. Maybe, we need to do likewise.

In our home, we often have conversations that go something like this:

“Let’s go out for dinner.”

“Okay, what do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know…”

It can be very easy to know you want something, but not know what that something is. Likewise, most of us know we need something from Jesus in our lives, but the real nature of just what that need is often eludes us. It is in these moments, that we too, can hear Jesus’ question, “What do you want me to do for you?” What, specifically, are we seeking from him? He already knows what we need, but this is our opportunity to allow the Holy Spirit to show us our real need so that we can present it to God and receive our answer.

Too many times I’ve said, “God, fix it,” or, “God forgive me.” with no idea what I wanted God to do, or what God might be asking me to do. It is not that God will not answer such requests, but God is so much more than a genie in a bottle, there to grant our wishes. God is a loving friend who wants to share the journey with us.

So, the question stands, not as an expression of ignorance, but as an invitation to share our needs, our requests, our very selves with God. It is an opportunity to see our real need more clearly and to see who Jesus is in the midst of our need.

As the Lord journeys with us, perhaps he is asking us, “what do you want me to do for you?” if that is his question, what is your answer?

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This is the classic question that arises when we face seasons and situations of great need. The recent effects of the hurricane on the east coast of the United States, have raised this question again for many of us. What can we do that will make a difference in the face of great devastation and suffering?

It is not just hurricanes that cause us to wonder about what we have to offer. It can be the plight of children in the world, the scope of human starvation and lack of clean drinking water. The question arises when we consider those suffering with sickness and pain, with brokenness and grief, and with wounded pasts and frightening futures. What can one person, or a group of people do in the face of such things?

I often hear the question asked in two very different ways. The first, puts the emphasis on “I.” What do I have to offer? How can I possibly make a difference? The question is forged in a belief that the problem is too big and our resources too small. Sometimes, the distance of the problem makes it seem even more removed from our lives. We say, “what can I do,” silently answer, “nothing,” and go on with our lives.

The other form this question takes comes with an emphasis on “do.” In this response, we believe that may actually have something to offer, some way to make a difference. We are not looking at our lack, but at the possibility to use even the little we have to make a difference. Add to this pebble of faith, the trust that God can multiply our little, and a passionate belief that even “little-ol-me” can change the world begins to surface.

You may remember the story of Jesus when he stopped to feed the 5000. Jesus was teaching and a huge crowd gathered to hear his wisdom. Recognizing it was getting late, he instructed the disciples to feed the crowd, which was huge in their eyes. The Scripture says there were about 5000, plus women and children. Yet, in the face of this multitude, Jesus looked at twelve men and said, “feed them.”

The disciples were dumbfounded. What could they do? They didn’t have the resources. The task was just too great. But then, Jesus steps in to guide them. He asks what food they have and they bring forward the bread and fish one boy brought to eat. Jesus prays a blessing over the gifts and sends them out to distribute the meal. In the end, everyone is fed and there are twelve baskets full left over.

The disciples learned a simple, yet profound principle that day. Jesus can take our little and make it much. Sometimes, that happens from the accumulation of many people’s “little” and sometimes it is the result of the miraculous power of God. Either way, with Christ, we can all make a difference. We can share our resources, our talents and our insight. We can support others who are doing hands on work. We can do many things, the greatest of which may begin with our willingness to pray.

We can ask God to help others, to heal brokenness and to solve enormous problems. We can then ask what part we are to play in that process, how can we be partners with God in making a difference. We may be the one who gives up the bread and fish, or one of those who helps to bless them, or even one who takes the gifts to those who need it. Through prayer and our willingness to respond to God’s call upon our lives, we can make a difference.

There is a quote from R.A. Torey written in the front of my Bible. I often turn to it when faced with an enormous need. It reads:

“Pray for great things,
 Expect great things,
 Work for great things,
 but, above all, Pray!”

Below those words is this simple prayer that I pray for all of us today, “Lord, help me make a difference today that is utterly disproportionate to who I am.” May it be so.

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Numerous times as a father I heard these words as I attempted to teach one of my children how to do something. Their struggle for independence and desire to demonstrate what they knew would cause them to jump ahead of my instructions while informing me that they had it covered. Sometimes, they did. Often, they did not, and neither did I when took the same approach at their age. It is an important piece of knowledge we must acquire by learning from our mistakes. Even as adults, it is still difficult to acknowledge that we do not know everything and accept that we need help.

David, Israel’s well-known king, made his share of bad decisions including sleeping with the wife of one of his soldiers, and when he found that she was pregnant and his sin could not be hidden, made arrangements for her husband to be moved to the center of the battle to die. He suffered greatly for his choices, but learned from them as well. In Psalm 25:9, he writes, “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.”

David learned the valuable lesson of humility. He discovered through that virtue God would teach him the right thing to do and show him God’s way to live. By recognizing his need for direction and his dependence upon God, he put himself in a position to be more than he thought possible, even when he thought too highly of himself.

It is a lesson for all of us. When we can honestly accept that we are not God, that we do not know all things and that we cannot always discern the right way, we develop a teachable spirit that God can use to lead us into blessing. As long as we think we have it covered, that we need nobody and no direction we set ourselves up for failure and frustration. When we embrace humility, we open ourselves to good directions, wise decisions and godly blessings.

David learned the hard way the deep pain that comes from pride and arrogance. Many of us have learned that painful lesson as well, but we can also allow these tough experiences to teach us humility and prepare us for a better future. There is never a bad time to start embracing humility. It is never too late. It is a decision we renew again and again, but we do so knowing that God gives grace to the humble, guiding them and teaching them the path that leads to life.

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I awoke earlier this morning aware of something going on outside, but as my head cleared, I could not tell what it was. I turned over in bed to rest for a few minutes and thought I saw a light flashing in the room, yet when I opened my eyes, nothing was there. I thought to myself, “I am having some wild dreams this morning.” Barely had the thought crossed my mind, when I heard the loud crash of thunder. I smiled, waiting to enjoy more of the show as the words of Psalm 29 came to mind.

I love this Psalm, possibly because I love thunderstorms. I recognized that these powerful weather events cause great damage and sometimes, even death. I know that their power must be respected, but I cannot help but be awestruck by their majesty. I am always impressed, and strangely comforted in the storm.

I credit my mother with my feelings about thunderstorms. She always enjoyed them, and when I was very young, she wanted to be sure that I was not afraid as the lightning flashed and the thunder roared around our home. She would open the curtains of our large front window and hold me in her arms as we watched the glorious show nature was providing. Since then, I’ve always equated thunderstorms with a sense of wonder and of peace. The simple act my mother took, gave me the ability to rest comfortably in the midst of the storm around me.

I cannot help but think that the Psalmist must have had some similar feelings as he watched the storm form over the water and make its way toward him. I can hear the wonder in his words as he reveled in the “voice of the Lord.” He too respected the power that was in the storm, but he also saw God there as well, and it was ultimately God’s power that captivated him.

My experience with the storm this morning started me thinking about other storms in my life, the personal ones that seem so hard to pass through. I began to wonder if I could not learn something from my feelings in the physical storms that could strengthen me in the personal ones. Could it be, that just like in the times of lightning and thunder, God is present in the midst of my personal storms and that they might be moments designed to open my eyes to his presence in my life? Could God be calling me to stand at the window of my life and be awed by the storm around me while affirming my safety at the same time? Could it be, that in the midst of my greatest storms, God, like my mother, is holding on to me to comfort me, remove my fear, and assure me that everything is in his hands?

As I continue to ponder what the Holy Spirit is saying to me out of my experience, I believe that the answer to all three of these questions is a resounding, “Yes!” God is in the midst of the storm. God is calling me to trust. God is holding on to me so that the storm will not overtake me. I doubt that I will ever come to a point where I will anticipate storms in my personal life quite the way I look forward to a good thunderstorm, but I do believe that God can give me new eyes to see those storms in a new way; a way based upon God’s awesome power and my trust in God.

All of us face storms in our lives. Maybe the question before us is, can we see God in the midst of our storm? I’ve often thought about the disciples facing the storm as they tried to keep their boat afloat, while Jesus slept in the back. Of course, the story ends with them waking him and his word calming the storm, but I wonder, was this the opportunity for them to ride out the storm of their lives knowing they were safe with the Son of God in the midst of the storm with them.

John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, said on his deathbed, “the best is God is with us.” Maybe that is all we need to know to be strong in the face of our storms.

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With all of those considerations in mind, I still believe that the most meaningful part of God’s character to my life is the abundance of patient grace. I look back over my life and I am amazed how overwhelmingly patient God was, and is, with me. I am struck by what a slow learner I can be, and by how easily I am distracted from what I’ve been taught by God. I wonder if I have even a portion of that patience with the people in my life.

I am struck by how that patient grace shapes my life as God gently, and sometimes not so gently, guides me along the right path and brings me back to it from my occasional departures. It would be so easy for God to grow weary with me, yet that never happens. In fact, it seems like the more I chafe, wander and struggle, the more God steps in to remind me of his love, forgive me of my sins, and empower me to take the right, next step.

Often others, the devil and even I, speak words of judgement and defeat over my life, yet God, like a gentle, loving parent, chooses a different path – the path of patient grace. His words are filled with compassion, hope and promise. God sees what I cannot always see in myself and calls it forth from within me.

I can only speak for my own journey, but I know that I will be forever grateful for the blessing of that grace. I know that when I am aware of it working in my life, I feel God’s divine strength enabling me to become who I was made to be in him. Many people I know struggle with their past and their failures, but I thank God that we are not defined by them.

God said, and says, “Behold, I make all things new.” The Holy Spirit working in us can overcome our past and our present and lead us into the future we were destined to live. Won’t you join my in confessing with so many others like us, “I may not be where I want to be, but I’m sure not where I used to be! Thanks be to God!”

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