Early in my ministry, my wife handed me a cartoon of a woman speaking to her husband who was pouring over his schedule. It read, “Just remember honey, Jesus loves you, and everyone else has a wonderful plan for your life.”
As laughable as it was, it is also quite the reality for just about everyone I know. It seems many people around us are convinced that they know what we should do, how we should feel, and what our priorities should be. Unfortunately, these people rarely agree, making their combined list of expectations even greater. They also rarely spend time listening to our situation and our heart, choosing instead to impose their own thoughts and feelings on us.
What is most unfortunate is that their comments are not rooted in revelation from God. Instead of prayerfully considering what God might be asking of us, they bypass that reflective process to speak out of their own agendas and desires, certain that they know what is best for us. The question for us is, “how are we going to respond?”
In our modern day of politically correct, sensitive responses, many of us feel the need to fit in to the expectations of those around us. We don’t want to respond to these inappropriate intrusions in a way that seems mean, so we often allow guilt to pile up as we add more things to our “To do” list. As kind and loving as that response may seem, it is actually a form of codependency that encourages unhealthy behavior. It may be that our best response is a different response.
The Apostle Paul wrote, “Now does that sound as if I were trying to win human approval? No! I want God’s approval! Or that I’m trying to cater to people? If I were still doing that, I would not be a servant of the Messiah.” (Galatians 1:10) He could not be clearer. His goal is not human approval, but God’s approval. He addresses those who would seek to direct his life without prayerful reflection and guidance by saying, “So what? Think what you like. Say what you like. I am seeking God’s approval.”
You and I must seek God with the questions, “Did I do what you wanted? Am I doing the right thing? Are you pleased with me and my direction?” We can allow the comments of others to lead us to seek God’s opinion, and we can maintain a teachable spirit, but our goal is not to please people, but God.
This is significant as we embrace God’s vision for our life. God may ask things of us that are not what others want us to do, and we will undoubtedly need to say, “No,” to many things people ask of us. This is not because we are mean, but because we are wise. What value is there is trying to live up to the expectations of people who will never be satisfied, especially when that means we might neglect the greater things God is asking us to do. Certainly, chasing down what it takes to please the people around us will drain our energy for the things we should be doing, and may cause us to lose focus on our calling.
Saturday night, as I watched my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers lose a playoff game to our rivals, I had a lot so say as an armchair quarterback and coach. Comfortably sitting on my sofa, I was certain I knew what needed to be done to win the game. The truth is, I was not there. I did not have all the information the coaches had. I am not trained to coach a professional sports team, and it is not my job. All of this is exactly why there is not a single player on the team that is remotely concerned about my assessment of their game plan or performance. I can have an opinion, but the reality is, my opinion does not matter.
The greatest goal of our lives is not the approval of others, it is the approval of God. When our lives on earth are complete and we stand before our God, whose eyes blaze like fire, we want to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” This will be the affirmation from the One who truly matters, not from the onlookers who had opinions.
