Writing yesterday’s post was troubling. Not only because the subject matter was painful, but because the issue of hatred and bullying is so overwhelming. I could not help but feel there was more to consider.
Whenever one of these tragedies occurs, there is a sudden outburst of emotion by people troubled by horror of what happened, accompanied by reflections on how we can stop or prevent bullying. It is good this conversation comes to the forefront, and it is a shame that it takes a tragedy for that to happen. Sadly, all too often the passion and concern is short-lived and things slowly go back to the way they were, hidden.
While many questions are being asked about what causes bullying and how it can be stopped, I have one other question that often seems to go unspoken, “Why?” You may say, everyone is asking the why question, isn’t that the heart of the whole discussion, wanting to know why this happened? That is true, but the question I am pondering is, “why did a precious young man feel that the only solution to these attacks was to take his life?”
Please understand, I am not pointing out a fault in him. I am pointing out a fault in us. Where are we failing our children as a community that the harsh words of some peers can destroy their sense of value? Where are we letting down those who need our strength and encouragement so that they can stand strong in the face of their adversaries? This problem is not just about some narrow-minded students who said mean things to a classmate; it is a problem of which we are all a part. Our actions, or failure to act, leave people vulnerable to greater pain.
None of us likes to feel complicit when evil occurs, and it is true that most of us were not directly involved in the events that led up to this most recent expression. But ask yourself:
Do you speak evil?
Have the hurtful words spoken to someone else ever been yours?
Have you criticized someone?
Have you sown those critical seeds behind their back?
Do you take every opportunity to build others up?
Do you make time to encourage those who are hurting, or those who are difficult?
Is your life an example of love to the world around you?
These are hard questions, often ones we would like to avoid but, like pebbles in a pond, our choices create ripples that affect others, even people we do not know. Every action counts. The seeds of love, hope and encouragement we plant will touch lives just as surely as the hurtful comments of others will, but the result will be very different. As disciples of Christ, we know nothing and no one is hopeless. The very revelation of God is just the opposite. There is always hope and no one should ever face the evil of the world without that knowledge.
Sharing hope involves more than saying, “Oh, by the way, there is always hope.” It is a truth that needs to be demonstrated, lived out before the entire world. We declare by what we say and do that there is always something worth living for, even when it is hard to see. We proclaim that in spite of the negative, hurtful things some people say, each person is a beloved creation of God, supported by God and those who represent God. As a community of people we can care for one another in ways that give strength and hope; we can make a difference.
In the end, it is not about blame, but about opportunity. We have an opportunity not to feel emotion for a short season and then forget. We have an opportunity to change our words and actions into examples that change the world. We have the opportunity to care, to love, to encourage and give hope. We have the opportunity to speak and offer life. Let’s not miss the opportunity to make a real difference.
We can make a difference, a lasting difference. Will you join me in making our corner of the world, and ultimately the whole world, a different place? The change can start today.
